I'd like to tell you about my first encounter with a penis enlarger...

Many years ago I was out walking with a group of friends when we walked over a rubbish tip. I was taking casual kicks at convenient bits of rubbish as you do, when one of the boxes I kicked burst open spilling its contents.

What's that? I remember thinking looking at what appeared to be a large test tube with an orange pipe with a bulb at the end. Closer examination of the box revealed it to be a Dr Charthams Penis Developer and it was brand new and unused, complete with instructions.

A find like that was too good to be just discarded and was therefore taken away with us.

As we all lived at home with our parents then there was no way any of us dared to take it home but one friend had an old van that he called his Shagging Wagon and decided he would be the custodian of our prize.

Whether he used it or not I have no Idea, he certainly never said so but years later he advertised himself in a contact mag as having an 8 incher...

Later, on a road trip to Brighton in the aforementioned Shagging Wagon I found myself alone in the van. I dug the cock enlarger out from its hide-away under the driver's seat, got my cock out, poked it into the tube and pumped furiously on the bulb. My cock was sucked up into the tube and did look a lot bigger, partly due to the curved glass magnifying it, not unlike looking at fish in a bowl. I quickly put the device back under the driver's seat before my friends returned.

Two years later my friend the van owner, was stopped and the van was searched by the police. He had the unenviable and embarassing task of explaining what the cock enlarger was to a curious Police Constable.

The officer confiscated it along with some filthy porn mags that he also found and presumably they were put to good use down at the station...

Penis enlargement methods have changed considerably over the years and the new generation penis enlarger normally involves the so called traction method. Read all about the best penis enlargement system available today.

Welcome to Pussy Monster No.2, she seems to be saying something...

The word 'Who' seems to be forming on her lips.

Personally I think the words 'How' and 'What' are more appropriate

I bet this one would like to suck a dummy.

The question is are you a dummy?

Check out Pussy Monster No.1.

She got fucked left, right and center.

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Bondage Mask Review

Horsebit Gimp Mask

I was passed this bondage mask review by my pals in the sex retail trade. They no longer sell this product but laughed when they read the review.

I hope you do too.

My first impression of the Horsebit Gimp Mask was excellent build quality, the reigns and blinkers were especially enjoyable.

As a fetish lover since the age of 20, I have tried many fetishes and fetish related equiptment with my friends. Especially my friend Craig Ball, who appreciates the whole Gimp related arena. I sustained from my unusual activities during a 5-in-the-bed incident, involving some of my excellent friends.

I would reccomend this product to anybody, from rank amateurs to pros. I myself, being a pro, find this product very easy to clean. Semen stains can sometimes be a hassle, but, if like myself, you enjoy the taste of your own, just use your mouth.I hope you find this review useful.

I would recommendHorsebit Gimp Mask. Also, try dogging.
~ Ian Osborn

This DVD from Quality Adult Sex DVDs is an educational DVD. Now I've had time to watch it here are my observations:

Does the g-spot exist? Yes.

Do the women actually squirt? Yes.

Is it piss? No.

Is it faked? No.

Is the technique of causing squirting properly explained? Yes.

Do women get pleasure from it? Yes, very much so.

Is the DVD sexually arrousing? No, not really, strangely enough.

Who should buy it? Anyone interested in giving a women an ultimate sexual experience.

Who should not buy it? Anyone who wants a DVD to be a masturbation/sex aid.

Do I recommend it? Yes, but only if you want to be educated.

Penis Length

Short And Thick Does The Trick!

Long and thin, goes right in, does not please the lady.
Short and thick, does the trick, manufacture baby.

But if you are short and thin then you best study my penis enlargement page.

Let the buggers swing!

Just another one of those holiday snaps of a girlfriend that has made its way into cyberspace.

If her tits can get through the mesh then so can a cock, now there's food for thought...

If you have never had sex in a hammock I suggest you try it. It's fucking brilliant!

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Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time...

Have a look at these bondage gags or these bondage restraints for some inspiration.

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Mick Hucknall was accused of having sex with underage rabbits last night.

The clues are in his songs 'Holding Back The Ears' and 'Bunnies Too Tight To Mention'...

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His pants fitted him like a glove.

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Huge Black Cock

Hung Like A Horse!

Biggz is back! The man with the supercock is once again ready to lay down the pipe. Will the amazing squirting powers of Cytherea be able to push the big black snake away? We don't think so.... But we sure want to watch her try! And if you wonder how can this monumental doing fit in Alex Devine's tiny little mouth, wait until she takes it all the way in her ass! Sounds like the beginning of an awesome porn flick? It certainly is.

This filthy porn DVD comes highly recommended, I totally agree with the review below. Another bonus is seeing Cytherea again shuddering to orgasm and squirting like a fire hydrant. The nearest most of us can get to Biggz is by using the X-Man Black Dildo.

Here's a review:

Amazingly his cock does fit up an arse! I bet that girl shits sideways... The last time I saw a cock like that it was swinging between the legs of a Grand National winner. It really does look like a horses cock. Biggz himself doesn't do too much other than regular pumping but I suppose with a cock like his you don't have to be an acrobat. I'm quite surprised that the girls seem to be able to take the whole (or should that be hole) length. The term 'Mersey Tunnel' comes to mind. The best fucking in my opinion is the bonus feature with a lovely little blonde chick. I would definitely recommend this DVD and I'd give it 9/10, it's very good.

It's long, it's thick, it's a big black dick, er, I mean penis.

Biggest Vibrator

14" King Kong Vagina Stretcher

Tired of those puny little six inchers?

Want that full up feeling?

Want something to chew on?

This monster is not surprisingly called the King Kong, it's 14" (35cm) long and 3" (7.5cm) wide. It's the biggest vibrator I've found on the web.

This is the sort of vibrator our pussy monster would have for breakfast.

Can double up as a rolling pin when not splitting vaginas and arses.

Comes with pot of axle grease and a mallet.

Here's a couple of King Kong reviews:
My first impression of the King Kong was it massive but got me dripping which turned my partner on too.highly recommended but its very big.I would recommend King Kong.of course

My first impression of the King Kong was it was massive. I couldnt wait I stripped nude and stuck it up my pussy and had the best feeling of my life.Every night i stick it up there and it's fantastic.I would recommend King Kong.

My mum always used to say "Your eyes are bigger than your belly", I dread to think what she would say if she saw this...

I bet the guy with the pump thinks he's filling the wrong hole.

That girl has certainly got some cheek.

She's only doing it for the crack.

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Years ago I had a mate who always had girls after him and they all spoke of him as being very good in bed.

I asked him about what he did to girls that made them all say he was fantastic in bed. He told about a technique that he called "Rubbing the bone" and he explained how to do it. "They go fucking mad" he said.

I now realise that he was rubbing the g-spot, a bit ahead of his time...

He said "Stick two fingers in and up and you feel a spongy bone, rub it for about ten minutes and they go fucking wild"!

Sound familiar?

Look here for more information on locating and pleasuring the g-spot. You won't regret it!

Ever fancied watching someone wanking?

Or even shagging?

Of course you have. With modern technology it's easy, all you need is a computer and a web connection to watch filthy exhibitionists having webcam sex.

Over the next few weeks, I am going to be looking at various webcam sites and reporting back to you on what I have found. It's a tough assignment.

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Another review of this excellent porn DVD.

The first scene is very good. The girl has a lovely slim body. The guy is tanned and fit and has a thick and unusually curved cock. The plot involves the girl going to the garage where her car is being fixed...

Who cares about the plot or the dialog? The fucking is great. You get all those arse slapping and squelching sounds as the girl gets fucked good and hard. Good camara angles and very clear photography. The girl (shown on the cover) has that sluttish appeal, tattoos complete the look!

There's a lot of doggy style action and the girls outer pussy lips are splayed nicely revealing a stiff little clit and pink inner lips...

For me the best bit was near the end of the scene when the girl is fucked from behind over the car. Great views of deep penetration and the juices flowing. In general the girl looks as if she is really enjoying it and she's quick to grab the guy's cock and get it back in her whenever the guy withdraws.

The only annoying thing is the guy's expressions (looks like he's chewing a wasp) but that's a small criticism. This is a great DVD to watch with your girlfriend or on your own. This scene is just straight vaginal sex with nothing stronger (or more perverted) but it is well worth watching.

See the earlier review.

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Further to the previous article on cock rings...

A picture is worth a thousand words, so it is said.

You would not believe this but this is Justin (Huge Cock) after trying on his first cock ring...

Only joking! But you probably follow my drift.

Check out the throbbing veins and shiny swollen helmet. Also, presents the balls nicely for clit banging when doing it doggy style!

Free Cock Ring

Do You Want A FAT Shiny Cock?

Bionic Tonic Sex Toys are giving away a Pure Arousal cock ring for FREE when you spend £40.00 or more on a single order.

For those of you out there that have never used a cock ring, they are the Number 1 Sex Toy for men.
Pull one down your shaft and over your balls and flex your cock a couple of times to get the blood into it. The ring stops the blood from getting out and you end up with a bulging throbing cock. All the veins stand out and your helmet will be so shiny you can see your face in it.

You will have the longest and thickest hard-on of your life.

My girlfriend loves it!

A good source of information and products can be found on Bionic Tonic's cock rings information page.

I just found this little gem over on the Bionic Tonic Sex Toys site in a Feeldoe sex toy review:

I bought this for my girlfriend to try on me, to put in her pussy and give me a good rogering, but what we really enjoy is when I squeeze it into my butt and double bang her, she loves to have it in both holes and it fits quite well and doesn't come out very easily.

"C'est la vie" say the old folk...

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Realistic Squirting Cock!

Who Sleeps on the Wet Patch?

Fill the bellows with a good lube or even mix the cum recipe included and when you are ready you will be able to squeeze the bellows and get the sensation of a real cock cumming inside you...

Sweet Jesus!

This guy must have felt a prick when he saw the regimental photo.

Something to show the grandchildren. Not.

Was the queen amused?

Obviously, little Scotish boys are not taught to keep their knees together like their sisters are.

In the olden days he would have been hung for this. Well hung...

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Would you put your penis anywhere near that?

Daft question. Of course you would.

It takes much more than that to put a man off pussy.

I'll be showing a pussy monster each week and it would be nice to come up with some captions from the audience.

I'll start you off with:

I'd would like to meet that down a dark alley!

Hollow Strap-on

A Strap-on For Men And Women

Bionic Tonic Sex Toys are selling an unusual strap-on called Strap On Delight for £29.99.

Being hollow the Strap On Delight can be used by men as an aid to erectile dysfunction or simply to increase the size of the penis, or it can be used a strap on for women.

Just thought you should know, Quality Adult Sex DVDs are selling Couples Porn DVDs at 25% Discount for a while.

So fill your boots or your girl's pussy!

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Huge Penis

As Seen On TV

I watched a TV programme a week or so ago, about the biggest penises in the world. The biggest was 13.5 inches and the second biggest was 12.9 inches.

Both guys had had gay sex. The 12.9 inch guy said it was because he could not get his penis fully up a pussy but he could a man's arse. That beggars belief doesn't it?

The 13.5 inch guy said that guys suck cock better than women...

I'll have to take their word for it but call me old fashioned, I'd rather fuck a pussy any day and no guy is ever going to suck my cock.

Anyway, if you want to have a laugh, take a look at this huge cock.

Q: What is the difference between an egg and a wank?

A: You can beat an egg.

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Now that's what I call a funny pussy.

I wonder if her pussy would like a dildoh!

Doesn't it make you wish you persevered with drawing when you were at school?

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When my girlfriend saw this cock she laughed, when I saw it I cried (laughing).

I believe the owner of this beauty is called Justin. If he's not he should be!

Seriously though, I do feel sorry for this guy, I have had so much fun with my cock...

If you look anything like this down below then you must check out my penis enlargement page.

I think we need to come up with some funny captions for this (very sad) photograph. I just hope that Justin has a sense of humour.

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best.
~Woody Allen

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An erection is like the Theory of Relativity - the more you think about it, the harder it gets.

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To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.
~ Don Schrader

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A porn DVD is rarely dusty.
~ Frank Leopald.

Free Spanish Fly

Get Your Sex Organs Buzzing!

Bionic Tonic Sex Toys are giving a FREE bottle of Spanish Fly away when you spend over £40.00 on a single order.

And with their prices, you can get a lot of sex toys for £40.00!

A guy wakes up in hospital and gradually realises where he is and that he's been injured. He cries out for a doctor.

A doctor arrives and asks him what he wants first, the good news or the bad news.

The guy visibly pales and asks for the bad news first.

The doctor tells him he's been involved in a serious accident and has had both his legs amputated.

Almost fainting the guy asks what the good news is.

You've always wanted your cock to reach the ground...

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Cock Rings

Favourite Sex Toys For Men

Cock Rings are without doubt men's favourite sex toy. They are amongst the simplest of sex toys and it is perhaps their simplicity that makes them so popular. They appeal to both young and old, gay or straight. They are small and therefore easy to conceal from unwanted attention.

Cock Rings work by restricting the flow of blood in the penis. By placing a ring at the base of the penis right behind the testicles both erection and ejaculation can, to some degree be controlled.

Many men swear that their penis gets larger when they wear a cock ring and there is some truth in this as the blood is under a greater pressure than normal so the erection is more rigid. The veins on the penis will visibly stand out and throb. So girls, get your man a cock ring and you'll not be disappointed with the result.

Dual Ringer NubbyThe Dual Ringer Nubby is an interesting cock ring with a fringed ring for the shaft and an extra loop to go behind the balls to lift them. Customers report heightened sensations in the testicles from this lifting effect.

Here's a great testimonial:
This was my first cock ring. Really gets the veins up on your cock and gives a lovely sensation in the balls when thrusting. Fucked the arse off the girlfriend with it on last night, I'm getting a hard on just thinking about it! She screamed the house down!

The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it.
~Truman Capote

Squirting Porn DVD

Cytherea's Squirt Queens

As I mentioned in an earlier Great Porn DVD article I had found a little gem, I thought it only fair to give you some more information on her.

Now it seems Cytherea is an established porn star and I am not surprised. She is very pretty, slim with a fantastic pussy. She really gets involved when she's fucking, no piece of meat this one! Anything goes, spit roasting, double deckers the lot. She can take the biggest fattest cocks bollock deep and when she cums...

Oh, god, I nearly lost it then, phew. When she cums her legs go, she shakes and she squirts all over the place. God, how she squirts.

She is just about the sexiest, best fucking, porn star on the plannet bar none. Cytherea's Squirt Queens is a must buy

She is SEX ON LEGS, albeit very wet legs.

The Rabbit Vibrator - Cheapest Price

Bionic Tonic Have The Cheapest Price For This Excellent Vibrator

Bionic Tonic Sex Toys are selling the excellent The Rabbit vibrator for a cheapest on the web price of £13.95. The Rabbit is a top quality rabbit style vibrator that is only recently on the market. Better made and superior to favourites such as the Pearl Rabbit or the Erotic Rabbit it's price has been reduced by £3.00 as a Valentines Day offer.

Makes a great present, right enough, so it does!

Pinky's Ressurection

And Some Very Nice Photographs

A Polish guy got in touch with me the other day and during the email exchange it turned out that he is a very fine photographer. I liked his work very much and thought you might. It's called Pinky's Ressurection and is very stylish.

Also the guy's other photography is well worth checking out. They are not for sale and this is not a sales pitch, just some beautiful photos.

A scientist from Dublin University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.

At a news conference announcing the invention, a large group of men took the scientist outside and beat the shit out of him.

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Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?

Lady: Doctor, I thought you said have 3 males a day.

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Porn Movie On The Move

Hardcore Porn Movies On Your Mobile Phone

Here's a great idea for those that never seem to stop moving.

Filth, delivered straight to your mobile phone or PDA (pretty dirty assistant).

It only costs £3.00 for three days access, that sounds good to me.

I'm going to give it a go myself...

Go and check out the mobile porn deal.

If you fancy some pussy stretching then I can't recommend this DVD enough.

As it says on the site:

It's bigger than big it's thicker than thick! Witness first hand as Shane Diesel, the man with one of the fattest cocks in the world, pleasures these sexy girls!! With deep hard pussy stretching penetration, there is nothing quite like it, if you like big cocks in tight twats.He is a legend in the making and you get to see it first hand!

It's just like a real one, only bigger.

Get a FREE couples porn DVD when you buy any porn DVD from the Quality Adult Sex DVDs web site.

That's another great offer from this Dutch based Porn outfit. They really are the cream of the crop!

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A women in a private hospital wakes up from from her designer vagina operation...

On her bedside table are three huge bunches of flowers. She leans across and reads the labels.

The first is from her husband, the second is from the surgeon...

And the third is from 'Eric in the burns unit'. It says 'Thanks for my new ears'.

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